There are no pieces to pick up –
they are scattered, lost. I don’t
want to waste more time in
mourning them. I’m not sure
if I were able to go back and find the
old me, what I would choose to
bring here, how much youth I would want.
It’s a shock to see how much time
has gone by, how I’ve aged.
I feel as though I’m coming from the
dark and everything looks too
bright. I want to step back inside
and close the door. My eyes hurt. I
don’t know where to look. I don’t
know anybody anymore. Where
did they go? Where did everything I
used to know go? This new me
is like a baby and needs gentled along
but no one sees that. Part of me says
run out and dive in! you won’t drown.
Part of me mourns that my
bathing suit no longer fits.
Part of me looks down in dismay at
my shoelaces, which are untied.
by Cher Bibler